All KITT Knight Rider Quotes Full List

 The goal is to have a as complete as possible list of K.I.T.T. Lines without repeats/quips.

1. "There's no reason for increased volume. I'm scanning your interrogatives quite satisfactorily. I am the voice of Knight Industry 2000's Micro processor, K.I.T.T. for easy reference, KITT if you prefer."
2. "On the contrary, instead of being a problem ridden prototype, I'm the new and improved model."
3. "To me? You must be jesting. Perhaps with some plastique, a jack hammer, and a diamond-edged haxal he would have a chance of throwing out a circuit or two, but damage?"
4. "Were I to hazard a guess, I'd say into an old canyon." (When Michael asked where Old Canyon Road goes)
5. "I wouldn't touch that with a 10ft drive shaft."
6. "Michael sometimes you really know how to hurt a guy that car isn't fit to shine my bumper."
7. "I want custody of me!" (After Michael says K.I.T.T. is about as much fun as a divorce)
8. "Michael, why do you need to socialize with so many women? Wouldn't one be sufficient?"
9. "No, Michael, I cannot. When you're one-of-a-kind, companionship does not compute."
10. "Thank you for your prompt answer."
11. "Really, some people are simply too much."
12. "I had the distinct impression he was trying to impress the car."
13. "April, I can't believe you're participating in this barbarism."
14. "How would you feel if someone decided to extend your nose, remove your ears, lengthen your neck and paint your body candy-apple red? Thank goodness Wilton Knight isn't here to see this sacrilege."
15. "Kindly keep your hands to yourself, Madam."
16. "You ain't seen nothin' yet."
17. "Don't press the eject button!"
18. "Michael, where are your pants?"
19. "K.A.R.R., I didn't know you cared."
20. "I'm afraid we zinged where we should have zagged Michael."
21. "With all due respect, you are not possibly thinking of... Oh my word, you are!"
22. "Michael that man is lying."
23. "That's a phone and I'm not a booth"
24. "It appears to be a large... My goodness, large isn't the word, it's enormous!"
25. "It wasn't a fair fight, April. It's like putting Sugar Ray in the ring against a overgrown heavyweight."
26. "Right away Michael."
27. "Large isn't the word, its enormous."
28. "'Hooky?' I'm not familiar with that term."
29. "Oh, that does feel good!"
30. "Dare we? Without sufficient reason?"
31. "You want the truth, in front of him?"
32. "She's right, Michael."
33. "A little higher, a little lower, stop."
34. "If I may say so, Michael, I'm quite pleased with my new look."
35. "Don't touch Turbo Boost. Something tells me you shouldn't touch Turbo Boost."
36. "If I ever see that snout-nosed ignoramus again..."
37. "I'm already reviewing my computer logs of our confrontation. In a matter of hours I will know everything there is to know about that banana-headed bovine!"
38. "That can't be KARR. We destroyed KARR two years ago."
39. "I saw him explode! You saw him explode!"
40. (Answering sarcastically) "Can Michael Jackson moonwalk?"
41. "Are they serious?"
42. "Michael, don't you think you're being a little hard on Devon"
43. "I don't engage in pleasure. I deal in facts."
44. "Going through walls isn't my favorite pastime, but it sure beats socializing with a donkey!"
45. "I'm not programmed to react to a girl's smile. You, on the other hand, are programmed to react to nothing else!"
46. "Deny everything. If I may suggest, deafness is always a good approach to law enforcement officers."
47. "I'm surprised you're still with us, Michael. You're living on sheer will power."
48. "I fail to see the humor in this situation."
49. "I'm afraid sarcasm is not one of my strong points."
50. "Michael, are you quite alright?" 
51. "Engaging surveillance mode."
52. "My sensors indicate the presence of..."
53. "Devon, I must protest!"
54. "I calculate our chances of success as..." 
55. "One man can make a difference, Michael."
56. "Honking in a tunnel, really Michael, I fail to see the point." (Followed by Michael explaining it's an American tradition). KITT then responds: "Unsafe, unsound behavior if you ask me."

To be checked for duplicates/correctness:

1. "Now there's only one dumb bell on my hood." (From the episode "Dead of Knight," likely after dealing with someone on the hood)

2. "What does the 125th Street kid have to say now?" (Said before a kid presses the eject button despite KITT's warning)

3. "Michael, are you sure you want to do that?" (A frequently used cautionary question)

4. "Michael, I find your endless capacity for being surprised by things that are so easily explained, to be a continual source of, well, surprise."

5. "I'm sorry, Michael. I must have skipped a byte somewhere."

6. "I fail to see the humor in that." (Similar to "I fail to see the humor in this situation," but a slight variation found)

7. "Michael, why is it that people with closed minds always seem to open their mouths?"

8. "I think, therefore I am." (A classic philosophical statement attributed to KITT in one source)

9. "I am a Knight Industries 2000 with a 1000 megabits of memory and a one nanosecond access time." (Said when challenged about being smart)

10. "When I was a kid... We couldn't afford cheese to bait the mouse trap... We had to cut out a picture of cheese for bait... We caught a picture of a mouse." (Part of a stand-up comedy routine KITT attempts in "Dead of Knight")

1. "Now I'm a mobile mailbox!" (KITT's reaction when Michael tells him to wait for evidence to be dropped in the window).

2. "It won't happen again I can assure you of that." (Said after potentially making a mistake or causing an issue, possibly related to April's comment about him being held together with "scotch tape and bailing wire").

3. "Why is it that people with closed minds always seem to open their mouths?"

4. "I think, therefore I am." (While a famous philosophical quote, it is attributed to KITT in some sources).

5. "Deny everything. If I may suggest, deafness is always a good approach to law enforcement officers." (Said when Michael is pulled over).

6. "I am a Knight Industries 2000 with a 1000 megabits of memory and a one nanosecond access time." (Likely said when someone questions his intelligence).

7. "Michael, please... pardon the expression, but he does have a few screws loose!"

8. "Michael, is that you? You look like crap." (A surprisingly blunt observation from KITT).

9. "There's nothing worse than a smartass automobile." (While potentially said about KITT, one source lists it under KITT's sayings).

10. "Michael, someone is broadcasting on our private carrier frequency!" (Highlighting a security concern).

11. "Michael, I can serve you better if I'm familiar with your strategy." Followed by Michael explaining they will "lay low, observe, deduce and analyze," leading to KITT's dry response: "In other words, we're winging it, as usual."

12. "The sea air is very bad for my circuitry." (Said when Michael asks why KITT wants to know how long they are staying somewhere).

13. "I didn't know you had perfect pitch." (Michael asks this). KITT replies: "It's a cross I have to bear."

14. "I took the liberty of scanning your vital signs..." (Often followed by KITT expressing concern about Michael's elevated heart rate or blood pressure).

15. "I'm picking up a transmission in a highly stylized dialect of the English language." (His description of CB radio chatter).

16. "I can't kill you, Michael. You know that." (Said when programmed by an enemy to kill Michael, KITT overcomes the programming because his core directive is to protect human life).

17. "Thank you, Michael, but I noticed that myself." (KITT's sarcastic response when Michael points out they are being shot at).

KITT quotes updated April 3, 2025.

If you have any corrections or new quotes, please post them in the comments. Thank you.